When does comparison become a trap?
How my heart breaks when clients begin their story of why they want to lose weight, gain energy, and feel better with a statement of “my ….. wants me to be like …..”
This is a hard mindset to conquer. They’ve been told that the other person(s) is so much better than they are. The comparison trap has been set and the key is nowhere to be found.
I’ll let them know immediately that “You are unique and different from everyone else.” Celebrate that.
Please hear me, if you’re in the comparison trap you can escape.
You offer a unique perspective in this game called life. We should all be thanking you. If you are constantly comparing yourself, it means you aren’t happy with who you are.
Why is that?
Conforming
We’re taught from an early age to conform to society. If you don’t fit within society’s norms, you’re looked upon disapprovingly.
We’re all guilty of shaking our head at the behavior of others.
However, most people aren’t normal in the truest sense of the word. Everyone has quirks and idiosyncrasies, and this is what makes them and you special. It’s these differences that allow us to find solutions to problems. It also keeps us from getting bored. Imagine if everyone were truly the same. There would be nothing new to discover about one another.
There are areas where we must conform to society, but when you conform to another’s beliefs in who they think you should be, well that’s not healthy.
When you try to live in ways in which others believe you should, you aren’t going to live your life to the fullest and you’ll find yourself stressed and unhealthy.
Comparing Myself To Others
Comparing yourself to someone else is not always bad. It’s when you try to live their life so that you can attain what they have or be like them, that creates an unhealthy emotional problem for yourself.
When you do this, you’re likely setting unrealistic expectations which will lead you to be disappointed. Comparing yourself to others will result in you resenting those people.
Not everyone can have six-pack abs, long lanky legs, beautiful long flowing hair, skin that glows. I’ve seen the destruction of a person’s emotional well-being when their life revolves trying to be like someone else.
You’re built different. You have different genes and no amount of chemicals are going to get you there.
Admiring Others
You can admire the qualities of others without falling into the comparison trap. There is nothing wrong with trying to adopt some of those admirable qualities for yourself. However, it shouldn’t get to the point where you are trying to redefine who you are to be like those people you admire.
You aren’t them, and you never will be. The beauty of this truth is that you have admirable qualities that others appreciate.
Be The Real You
Whether you’ve set your own comparison trap or others have pushed you into one, I encourage you to recognize the trap for what it is. Start today by releasing yourself from the comparison trap through affirmations of how special you are.
You may not be where you want to be with your health and weight goals, but that does not give you or anyone else the right to think less of who you are.
You’re unique and you’re special. You have much to offer and I encourage you to stand tall and claim the day. Life is too short to walk around trying to be someone you’re not.
Life will be much more satisfying when you believe in yourself.
